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FREE SHITTY MUSIC!!!
I write and/or help write music...

Each band is listed in reverse-chronological order. For those of you who are stupid, that means the old shit is at the bottom.

There really isn't much point in going below CDGA. In fact, I'm not gonna <audio> tag the shit. Fuck that.

OK, maybe I will.

Wait, no, maybe not.

Index:

PDP
Doomsday 2012
Cats and Dogs GET ALONG
Remastered Old Crap
CJ GJ
b0ner
Beaver
DouGR
PDP
This is Peter and I jamming. At this point in time, my audio interface had shit the USB bed and the chip involved is some kinda chinese bullshit I can't find online, but Peter got a two input interface with XLR inputs and brought it over.

So I just put up the two condenser mics in some kinda bullshit configuration which I think was one overhead, and one kinda down near the kick. I was certain it would sound like total mouldy diaper-filled garbage, but I listened to it after and I was kinda surprised. The balance of shit wasn't bad. I did the usual EQ and compressor shit, but shit was panned all over, and simple panning didn't help. I mostly gave up, but of course started wading through the Waves plugins. I found some fucking plugin, and I don't remember what it was, but it was magic. Wish I could explain more, but I think phase has something to do with it. Maybe psychology too.

Drums: Me
Bass: Peter

Drums -> 2 Shitty Samson mics -> XLR -> Peter's Audio Interface -> USB2 -> REAPER
Bass -> Pat's Fender bass amp -> 2 Shitty Samson mics -> Peter's Audio Interface -> USB2 -> REAPER
Mixed and Mastered by me in REAPER with REAPER, Waves, Amplitube and maybe other plugins.

Recorded 2016-07-07

PDP 2016-07-07 - R2016-07-16 - v3 - 01.mp3 [5.0MB] MP3

PDP 2016-07-07 - R2016-07-16 - v3 - 02.mp3 [5.0MB] MP3

PDP 2016-07-07 - R2016-07-16 - v3 - 03.mp3 [5.0MB] MP3

PDP 2016-07-07 - R2016-07-16 - v3 - 04.mp3 [5.0MB] MP3

PDP 2016-07-07 - R2016-07-16 - v3 - 05.mp3 [5.0MB] MP3

PDP 2016-07-07 - R2016-07-16 - v3 - 06.mp3 [5.0MB] MP3

PDP 2016-07-07 - R2016-07-16 - v3 - 07.mp3 [5.0MB] MP3

PDP 2016-07-07 - R2016-07-16 - v3 - 08.mp3 [5.0MB] MP3

PDP 2016-07-07 - R2016-07-16 - v3 - 09.mp3 [5.0MB] MP3


My brother is off the map and I'm sad.
Doomsday 2012
This is Shaner and I jamming, which in 2013 became known as Doomsday 2012. You know, just to remind dumbasses that the world didn't end and that's not what the Mayans predicted and Ancient Aliens is a stupid fucking show. This is all I'm posting right now, so fucking enjoy it before Hitler rises from the dead, fucks Jesus' shit up, blows up the planet, and does a 360 and walks away.

Drums: Me
Bass/Guitar: Shaner

Drums -> Shitty Samson mics -> XLR -> Tascam US-1800 -> USB2 -> REAPER
Bass/Guitar -> Shaner's Fender bass amp -> XLR -> Tascam US-1800 -> USB2 -> REAPER
Mixed and Mastered by me in REAPER with REAPER, Waves, Amplitube and maybe other plugins.

Recorded 2013-02-08

Doomsday 2012 - 2013-02-08 - 01 - Buzzin Echo Bass Shit.mp3 [4.89MB] MP3

Doomsday 2012 - 2013-02-08 - 02 - Buzzin Primus Bass Shit.mp3 [4.33MB] MP3

Doomsday 2012 - 2013-02-08 - 03 - Buzzin 90s Guitar Shit.mp3 [5.82MB] MP3

Doomsday 2012 - 2013-02-08 - 04 - Retarded Pantera Guitar Shit.mp3 [1.39MB] MP3

Cats and Dogs GET ALONG
This is a band Shaner, Nev and I did from like 2009-2011. We played the same six songs for like three years, then decided to change shit up. Then it ended.

These last three songs are probably my favourites though. We only jammed on them like three times, so there are plenty of mistakes, and they're unfinished of course. It's not as horrible as you may think though. I was putting in a new effort and I also figure I finally got a pretty good mix on the audio.

Drums: Me
Bass: Shaner
Guitar: The Almighty Nev

Drums -> Shitty Samson mics -> XLR -> Tascam US-1800 -> USB2 -> REAPER
Bass -> Shaner's Fender bass amp -> XLR -> Tascam US-1800 -> USB2 -> REAPER
Guitar -> Nev's amp -> Shure SM58 -> XLR -> Tascam US-1800 -> USB2 -> REAPER
Mixed and Mastered by me in REAPER with REAPER, Waves, Amplitube and maybe other plugins.

Recorded 2011-11-11

01 - Raisins - new arrangement - 225bpm.mp3 [5.0MB] MP3

02 - Song 1 - 145bpm.mp3 [7.9MB] MP3

03 - Chores - new shit - no metronome - 148bpm.mp3 [5.6MB] MP3


And then there's mini cookies....

Crujam - 2011-05-28 - Mini Cookies.mp3 [5.6MB] MP3

Remastered Old Crap
The other night I somehow got into the oldass tunes I wrote back in the 1995 day and figured that seeing as I have this array of horribly expensive VST plug-ins, maybe I can make it sound better. This is what is known by sound nerds in the audio recording industry as "remastering". They take old boring music that everyone compulsively listens to all the time and make it sound better because it rocks socks, but was recorded by neanderthals and sounds like a petrified woolly mammoth turd. Because the sound nerds have since acquired computers that are exponentially smarter than the average high school student, they take the old, woody turd recordings, feed them into a bunch of equipment that Bill Gates would have to borrow money from his mom to buy, and extrude out fresh, steamy turds that sound exactly the same, unless you factor in the embarassingly expensive equipment they just processed them with, in which case they sound better, and since they sound better, they have to be put on CD and sold again so people can listen to the the shit on their built-in laptop speakers and say, "Wow! The bass has so much more presence! The clarity makes me want to dook in my pants!"

So I decided to remaster my petrified turd songs. At first I was like, "I wrote this shit, so it's already Master," but then I read a Wikipedia page about mastering and realized there's the noun 'master' (me), and the verb 'master' (which is me sounding even better).

So yeah. I did Quavering Ambience and I think it sounds better, but I don't know because I don't have $400,000 speakers. All I know is that this song actually benefits from remastering because it sounded worse than a tough, woody turd.

1995? - DouGR - Random For Never - Quavering Ambience
CJ GJ
A few years ago, a friend said he heard about CJs, or Computer Jockeys. I thought this was the dumbest thing I had heard in a long time, so I decided to use it. GJ is Garbage Juice. So I'm CJ GJ. Fuck that's a stupid name. I have no idea what to call myself on this shit, so until I care to think of something better, CJ GJ it is...

All of these songs except Something's Wrong With The G-Diffuser were done in Acid. Not ON acid, IN it. Acid was created by Sonic Foundry, but got bought by Sony. I started on Acid Pro 4.0. The samples are mostly the free ones from the Sonic Foundry web site. Others are totally illegally ripped from games, songs, and other copyrighted sources.

As for "Something's Wrong With The G-Diffuser", that was done in FastTracker 2. Fuck yeah. The "What's all the ruckus?" sample is everyone's favourite turd, Mr. Hanky. The "Something's wrong..." and "Noooooooooooooo!!!" samples are from Starfox 64. Craiger played the game with everything but the voices turned off for an afternoon, recording it, just to get those dumb samples. Now they're a part of musical history. I have no fucking clue where the rest of the samples came from. All I know is I downloaded them from BBS's.

A lot of the songs say unfinished, even though they're more or less complete. The Joys of Being Alone will always be unfinished since I lost the Dillinger Escape Plan loops I made. All I have is the last MP3 I rendered...

2001 - 01 - 8.55am
2001 - 08 - Brittney Cleary - I.M.Me (fux0red by CJ GJ)
2002 - 02 - Chill Mode (unfinished)
199? - 06 - Something's Wrong With The G-Diffuser -> [FT2] (will play in Winamp)
2002 - 05 - Trouble (unfinished)
2001 - 07 - The Joys of Being Alone (unfinished)
2004 - 03 - Over There
2005 - 04 - Over Here (unfinished)
2001 - 09 - Maniac Mansion (Remix)
2008 - Put This in Your PSR
2008 - Put This in Your PSR 2
b0ner
The band was me, my brother, and Simon. I played drums, my brother plays bass and Simon plays microphone. No guitar. We started this band because Shane got a girlfriend and stopped jamming with us and we still wanted to rock out.

1996 - Live at the Pit - 01 - Mississauga
1996 - Live at the Pit - 02 - Durn Tootin'
1996 - Live at the Pit - 03 - Bumper Lips
1996 - Live at the Pit - 04 - Janitor Rex
1996 - Live at the Pit - 04 - The Man At The Door
1996 - Live at the Pit - 06 - Nintendo (Gods Of Doom!)
1996 - Live at the Pit - 07 - Mr. Truck

1995 - Live in My Living Room - 04 - Janitor Rex
1995 - Live in My Living Room - 07 - Nintendo (Gods Of Doom!)
Beaver
This band was me, my brother, and Shaner. I played drums, my brother played guitar and Shane played bass. No vocals, except the odd strange sound from someone or another...

1995 - Circular Hockey Cards Really Fucking Suck - 01 - Gone Home
1995 - Circular Hockey Cards Really Fucking Suck - 02 - The Cynic
1995 - Circular Hockey Cards Really Fucking Suck - 03 - Gandrapas
1995 - Circular Hockey Cards Really Fucking Suck - 04 - God Lives In My Back Yard
1995 - Circular Hockey Cards Really Fucking Suck - 05 - Chromatic Craziness
1995 - Circular Hockey Cards Really Fucking Suck - 06 - In the Woods
1995 - Circular Hockey Cards Really Fucking Suck - 07 - Angry Clouds
1995 - Circular Hockey Cards Really Fucking Suck - 08 - Suburbs
1995 - Circular Hockey Cards Really Fucking Suck - 09 - Jam 1
1995 - Circular Hockey Cards Really Fucking Suck - 10 - Serenity
1995 - Circular Hockey Cards Really Fucking Suck - 11 - Dumbass Bitch
1995 - Circular Hockey Cards Really Fucking Suck - 12 - Mung Surprise
1995 - Circular Hockey Cards Really Fucking Suck - 13 - Death Cycle
1995 - Circular Hockey Cards Really Fucking Suck - 14 - Jam 2
1995 - Circular Hockey Cards Really Fucking Suck - 15 - Jam 3
1995 - Circular Hockey Cards Really Fucking Suck - 16 - Jam 4
1995 - Circular Hockey Cards Really Fucking Suck - 17 - Jam 5

The Party <- Heavy drinking involved.
DouGR
This crap consists of garbage songs I wrote when I was 18 or so. The equipment was something like this:

Recording: My brother's 4-track cassette recorder. I forget what model it is. I'll ask him next time I remember to ask him. The tapes were good quality Maxell metal tapes or some shit, even though it doesn't sound like it.

Guitar: My electric guitar I made -> cable -> DOD FX53 Classic Tube distortion -> cable -> 4-track

Bass: My Samick Artist Series 4-string -> cable -> 4-track

Vocals: My dumb mouth -> some old wireless mic -> electromagnetic waves -> receiver -> cable -> my brother's DOD FX68 Super Stereo Chorus pedal -> cable -> 4-track

Drums: My brother's DR-550 MK II Dr. Rhythm drum machine -> cable -> 4-track

I'm only posting this one song here because Shaner thinks it's awesome. I kinda like it too even though I hate my voice. The rest of the shit I did at that time is too embarrassing... Anyway, this one doesn't sound that great because it's a copy of the final mix on a shitty tape that's been listened to a million times. I don't have the original master tapes any more because some dipshit stole them.

1995? - DouGR - Random For Never - Quavering Ambience